Saturday, August 2, 2008

McCain, not Hussein, HS Howlers

I received the following message from a person (don't know name, but must find it out) at "She" is joining NoBama Mission Bloggers. Her site is: [Note: Take a short break from politics and scroll down to read the posting on "High School Howlers." They're priceless]

She adds, "I also have a very extensive email let me know when you want a mass mailing. Thanks."We need the names (first name is okay) and e-mail addresses of people like this. I told her that the mailing list is "golden." If this person has 50 (or 100 -- or 500 -- or 5000) on the her list, she can ask people to join her in opposing the election of Barack H. Obama.

If friends, family members, and other connections realize this person is opposing Obama -- for some compelling reasons -- it will influence how they vote. The reasons for opposing Obama? That he is unqualified (no foreign policy or military experience), inexperienced (half a term in the U.S. Senate, most of it spent on the campaign trail), too untrustworthy (telling false stories about his life and "accomplishments"), and too dangerous (suggesting that the U.S. might "reinvade" Iraq and that we might invade Pakistan, an ally and one with nuclear bombs). This message (inexperienced, unqualified, untrustworthy, and dangerous) works to create doubts about -- and opposition to -- Obama.

What about positives regarding Obama's opponent who, in the General Election, would be John McCain? That time will come (soon), and the positives are the opposite of Obama's deficiencies. McCain is qualified, experienced, honest, and NOT dangerous.

He is right on critical issues (such as producing more domestic energy and thus helping keep prices down) where Obama is just plain wrong. Rather than having to invent imaginary "uncles" with bogus military "accomplishments," McCain (and his father and grandfather) achieved exemplary records of military service and foreign policy knowledge.

The key is to contact people who will in turn contact others. The goal is to send out messages that have a cascading effect. If someone sends out 60 "NoBama" messages to people who in turn send out 60 messages (some will send more, some will send fewer), then there are 3600 contacts. If each of the 3600 new contacts send out 60 messages, we're up around 200,000. If the 200,000 send out another 60 e-mails, then we're up around 12 million. And if the 12 million in turn send out, then the total contacts could exceed the population of the U.S.!

Of course, it won't be exactly that easy. It will necessary to urge people to contact everyone they can -- face-to-face, over the phone, or through the Internet -- in order to ensure victory in November. The point to get across to people like "hillaryisourchoice" is that "somebody else" is not going to do the job of making important contacts about the need to defeat Obama. You and I, along with everyone else in the NoBama Movement, must do the things -- make the contacts -- necessary to win the Nov. 4 election.

Within a day or so, you will be able to find NoBama fliers at: What if you don't like something in the fliers made available? In that case, use the fliers as a model -- and create your own. This is largely a "do-it-yourself" effort.

Winning the Nov. 4 election is crucail to achieving the other changes many people want, such as reforming BOTH political candidates and ensuring that future candidates don't come with the liabilities of a Barack Obama. Right now, we have a Congress controlled by Nancy Pelosi, one of the main villains who torpedoed the campaign of Hillary Clinton. That Congress, rather than dealing with sky-high energy prices, has now gone on vacation for five weeks! The lack of concern for the American public is appalling.

We can do better. We MUST do better.

My favorite: "John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met." Though "shots rang out, as shots are wont to do" is a close second.
Love help: Funny metaphors used in high school essays -

Funny metaphors used in high school essays

Just in case you need some writing inspiration. Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year’s winners:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in anothercity and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. 14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

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