WHO STOLE TRIG PALIN'S PACIFIER

The following piece is about the Obama's Campaign never-ending attempt to dig up dirt in order to destroy Gov. Sarah Heath Palin. Since the attacks come exclusively from the Democratic Party, those who participate in any way in that Party's activities are in fact enablers of evil.

The following is humorous -- in a rueful way. It has "gone viral," and I appreciate the many positive comments I've received.Led by the "Chosen One," the Obama Campaign tends to get WAY off message, with long clouds of hot air being used to answer questions no one has asked. But it will get better at that. The ads and the smears will grow increasingly hateful -- and bizarre.

The current attack message is that Gov. Palin is a (shudder) Christian. Imagine that! What an outrage to the well -heeled liberal ladies of the Upper West Side and the desiccated secularists of "The View."

The New York Times will do a carefully crafted editorial on how -- in these troubled times -- any candidate who not an agnostic or athiest is truly fit to serve. MSNBC will launch a provocative expose on something-or-other.

In general, the modern Democratic Party is anti-Christian and anti-women. People like Obama and Biden list their "religious affiliation" with about as much conviction as they note their membership in the Kiwanis Club. I wish that were not true, because one would hope both Parties were responsible and committed enough to run the country.

The campaign to destroy Gov. Palin is going to fail. It is as pathetic as it is malicious and mendacious.We will hear endless charges that when she was 7 years-old Sarah took an extra cupcake at school. Presumably, some mentally disturbed person at her OLD church will make bizarre theological statements that will then be attributed (absurdly) to the Governor. We will also hear that Bristol Palin was not well-liked by three girls in junior high.

I wish I were exaggerating, but I fear that I'm not. We'll certainly hear unfriendly comments from some of the political crooks Sarah helped put in jail. Piper Palin will be questioned intensely on how many Black friends she has.

We will learn some truly shocking news: that Sarah once borrowed a cup of sugar -- and did not return it. A psychologist associated with "Entertainment Tonight" will analyze the underlying significance of the sugar theft. Theologians from the University of Chicago will be consulted to determine exactly which commandment Sarah broke.

Reporters will thoroughly examine Sarah's trash. It will reveal a rich lode of evidence: coffee grounds, used bread wrappers, spinach Piper refused to eat, and an extremely provocative empty bottle of olive oil -- Extra Virgin!

Does that bottle contain hidden significance? Is it a veiled plea for chastity before marriage? Is it a hidden rebuke to Bristol? There are now more lawyers (all from Chicago apparently) and media dirt hunters in Wasilla than there are permanent residents.

The National Enquirer ("All the news that fits we print") has a half-dozen people there (the entire Chicago bureau?), presumably looking for evildoing related in some arcane way to John Edwards mistress, Rielle Hunter and Todd Palin. The two will claim -- unconvincingly -- never to have met

Trust, me, Sarah's boyfriend when she was age 15 will receive constant media attention. Someone may find a copy of her secret diary composed during the ages 11 to 13! It will be examined closely for links to her current political philosophy.

Attempts will be made to steal Trig's pacifier. If the heist is successful, look for it on eBay -- opening bid at $10,000. Then, look for the Palins to buy a new one for $1.98 -- "film at 11."

A reference or photo in (Bristol-fiance) "Levi's" MySpace page will receive eight hours analysis by Matthews and Olberman. Track Palin will be accused of cross-checking a rival in a hockey 2004 match. Todd Palin's snow-machine racer will be subjected to forensic analysis.

So, in the face of all this media clamor, how do we win this election? If everyone who now favors McCain-Palin will recruit one new supporter -- or shore up one who's wavering, we will indeed prevail.

And, by the way, whatever happened to the "lovely" Michelle Obama? Did he ("the Chosen One") dump her ("the Unchosen One?") without our knowledge? Perhaps she's relocated to friendlier climes, such as Kenya? Was Barack seen -- or was he not -- in the company of Rielle Hunter?

Actually, I believe Michelle is under the same bus where Barack tossed grandma. But where oh where is Rev. Jeremiah Wright when we most need him?

Clinton/Palin 2012 Presidential Race?

On my national blog [you're here now] about 6 p.m. Wednesday, I'll have a column up about two women who could be competing for the presidency in 2012: Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York and Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska, whose youngest daughter, Piper, age 7, is pictured jumping on a huge sealskin in a Native Alaskan area. Piper has to be one of the most charming children in America, and sometimes the TV stations want to interview her before they talk to her very popular mother. Sarah Palin is reportedly on McCain's short list for V-P choices. She has five children, including a newborn boy, Trig.

If you want to read more about Sarah Palin, there's an entire web site devoted to her at: http://palinforvp.blogspot.com/. See also http://palintology.com/. They're both dandies.

THE CASE FOR SARAH ON THE GOP TICKET

Sarah Palin may very well be John McCain's choice for V-P on the Republican ticket. Barack Obama apparently doesn't want Hillary to be his V-P choice, but for purely political reasons he may choose her anyway.

Why do Obama-types fear the presence of Sarah Palin on the Republican ticket? In part, it's her legendary toughness (they don't call her "Sarah Barracuda" for no reason). But her main strength is her strong appeal to critical groups of voters. Consider:

Married women: Sarah's marriage to Todd Palin gives every evidence of being a model relationship. Sarah and Todd were childhood sweethearts, and they eloped shortly after she graduated from high school.

Young people: Sarah is only 44, and she exudes youthfulness and energy. She has children ranging in age from 18 (son Track) to a few weeks (son Trig).

Military families: Sarah and Todd are a military family. Their son Track enlisted in the U.S. Army Infantry on September 11, 2007. It's extremely likely he will see combat duty in either Afghanistan or Iraq, or both.

Families with children: The Palins have five children, three of them teenagers (Track, Willow, Bristol), as well as daughter Piper, age 7, and baby Trig (a Norwegian name).

Reagan Democrats: Palin has the highest approval ratings of any major elected official in the U.S. -- in the 90% range. That means she's gained approval from the vast majority of Democrats. Like Ronald Reagan, she's a master communicator.

Women professionals (journalists, teachers, nurses, doctors, lawyers, and businesswomen): Sarah is the consummate female professional, having served as Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, and as governor of the state. Her college degree is in journalism. Her parents both served as public school teachers.

Working families: Sarah's husband, Todd, has labored his entire adult life as a commercial fisherman and an oil field production worker. The couple's links to working families go far beyond the usual political rhetoric.

Gun owners: Like many Alaskans, Sarah is an avid hunter and a life-member of the National Rifle Association.

Pro-Life social conservatives: When Sarah found out that her unborn son, Trig, had Down Syndrome, she and her husband elected to have the child. Her point was that God has a purpose for every human being. When Trig was born, the Palins' press release began with these words, "God has blessed us . . . ." The fascinating point was that they meant every word of it.

Evangelical Christians: Sarah is an evangelical Christian. However, she doesn't wear her religious faith on her sleeve. She is not anti-gay and does not scapegoat people who disagree with her.

People concerned about energy and the environment: As governor of Alaska, Sarah is among the best-informed elected officials on both issues. She's head of the energy committee at the Republican Governors Association and is a strong advocate of level-headed conservation of natural resources.

Overall, there's no other Republican that brings more to the table than Sarah Palin. She has exceptionally wide appeal. She would help John McCain with many groups with which he's currently weak (including young people and women professionals).

Of supreme importance: Sarah could be particularly helpful in battleground states with large numbers of working class voters, including Pennsylvania, Ohio, New Jersey, and Michigan.