Hillary's Bad-Hair Day, Murtha's Daze

Even a presidential candidate can have an exceptionally bad hair day

But we all know why one candidate never has a bad hair day: John Edwards.

I promise tomorrow (well, today, since I stayed up late) will not be a serious column. I shall instead look at the lighter side. After all, if politicians weren't funny, they'd have to pay us for their services, right?

There is no truth to the rumor that Lt. Col Russell advocates re-naming Johnstown's "The John Murtha Cancer Center" and calling it "The American Taxpayers Cancer Center."

Tuesday on "NCIS" Agent Gibbs said "There's no such thing as an ex-Marine." But has Agent Gibbs ever met John Murtha?

Hillary Clinton says there will be no co-presidency with hubby Bill. In that family, we know who wears the pants suits.

"When I'm President again . . ." (Hillary Clinton)
How did we miss her previous Presidential term?

What are the chances of Chelsea Clinton emulating Gov. Sarah Palin's son and joining the military? About the same as Hillary's campaigning with Monica Lewinsky.

John Murtha has been appealing to voters for a catchy campaign slogan.
So far, the leader is: "The best congressman money can buy."

Kucinich just announced the formation of a powerful new coalition: Dwarves for Dennis.

Okay, if Romney is the Mormon guy, why is he the only candidate with just one wife?

Mike Huckabee has a secret poll showing he can the nomination if he changes his last name to "Washington."

Why does John Murtha keep putting his head in a vise? Because he loves the earmarks.

Murtha is famous for "bringing home the Bacon." But on Haditha he had to settle for laying the eggs.

William Russell's last medal was the Bronze Star for valor. John Murtha's last medal was the frilly one he got from "Code Pink."

How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: none, because that's the government's job.

My favorite Abraham Lincoln story is the one he told about the corrupt mayor who was tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail. A newspaper reporter asked the man what the experience was like. He said, "You know, if it wasn't for the honor of the thing, I'd rather have walked."

My favorite political story: An exit pollster asking an older woman on the street how she'd voted. She said, "Vote? I never vote! It only encourages them."

Politics is a serious subject -- to serious. And from time to time, you'll hear about the lighter side. On my other site, you'll find some more hee-hees. If you have some of your own, send them along (in comments or to: TalkTop65@aol.com.

Note: I'm getting enquiries from people asking how they can contribute to or otherwise support the candidacy of Lt. Col. William T. Russell. You can do by going to his site at: http://williamrussellforcongress.com. Your support is very much appreciated.

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. . . and one moderately serious moment

Russell for Congress Announces Communications Team

Bob Anderson will serve as Director of Communications. Bob is a multifaceted practitioner of assimilating information through his newsletter and podcasts. As a keynote speaker, national security consultant, author, and open-source intelligence ‘broker’ on homeland security, Bob informs, inspires and entertains his audiences.

Bob led a Pentagon “think tank” at the Joint Electronic Warfare Center and received a national award from the Electronic Warfare Association for developing concept, strategy and operational methods.

As a keynote speaker and homeland security expert, he publishes homeland security briefs as newsletters and podcasts detailing relevant open-source information to the national intelligence community and others in addition to hosting these podcasts on national issues.

Bob is a retired U.S. Marine Corps officer specializing in communications and special analytical support to operational forces and Intelligence Community. He led planning, training, and implementation for concepts and policies to protect our national and international government and private infrastructure.

Bob’s military career was followed by over 20 years in the private sector specializing in strategic planning, intelligence analysis, information technology development and testing (computer systems engineering, design and development), protection of national infrastructure, business intelligence, marketing communications, and business development and operations.


Steve Maloney will serve as Deputy Director of Communications. Steve has been active in conservative (Republican) politics since the early 1970s, assisting in Newt Gingrich's first campaign for Congress. He has written for various publications, including National Review, The American Spectator, Fortune, and many others.

From the mid-1960s to the mid-1970s he taught English and writing courses at Wm. & Mary and the University of Georgia. Later, he served as a business speechwriter for Phillips Petroleum, Gulf Oil, Aetna, and Eli Lilly (pharmaceuticals). He's a graduate of the University of Rochester and was born in that city. He has five children and lives with his wife, Pat, and a daughter in Beaver County, PA.

One of the driving desires in his life is to help William Trower Russell beat John Murtha. His political specialties are fundraising assistance, Internet politics and recruiting support from young people -- high schoolers and college students. "The only bad ideas in politics are the ones that backfire."“

As we start out on the campaign trail, we've put together a team that knows the 12th Congressional District well and knows how to beat incumbents,” said Larry Stiles. “We're excited about the 12 months ahead and looking forward to working with our grassroots Russell Team of volunteers to elect William Russell as our next congressman and make the 12th Congressional District great again.”

Steve adds: I look forward to assisting William T. Russell and his team in any way I can. The goal of this campaign is to win by out-working and out-smarting John Murtha. This campaign will have national implications, and we look forward to getting great support in the 12th District and throughout the nation. The way you win an election is to ask tens of thousands of people to honor you with their vote, and we will do precisely that.

Mike I Like, and Fred I Don't . . . However . . .

One of the more important columns I've written in the past year is the one below questioning Fred Thompson's fitness to be President. A nice lady from Tennessee wrote me an angry e-mail indicating that Thompson had been "a great Senator." I don't believe there is one person in America who could say that with a straight face. There is no significant piece of legislation with Thompson's name attached to it. During his several years in the Senate he left no footprints.

Thus, I'm forced to agree with the Rev. Dobson -- a person I disagree with regularly -- that Fred is man who lacks "zeal and passion," two words which basically mean the same thing. (Dobson believes it's okay to hit small children with wooden spoons, and I -- like most sane people -- don't. I do believe it's fine to hit Dobson with them.)

I'm also ending my consideration of Mike Huckabee as a realistic candidate for the nomination. I believe Mike was one of the few evangelical Christians who ever spoke candidly to his co-religionists -- about life (and it's not ending at birth), about immigration reform, about anti-Catholicism among some evangelicals, about taxes, about poverty, about equal voting rights for citizens in D.C., and many other things.

But Mike's chances of winning the nomination are very slim, in large part because his supporters are strong on prayers for him and short on cash for his campaign. Any candidate who doesn't have $30 million-plus on hand in January of next year had better seek another line of work. That's when the "campaigns" will become indistinguishable from a blizzard of television advertising in America's most expensive media markets.

I hope Mike has a great future -- he's only in his early 50s. But that future will not involve his getting the nomination or winning the election.

In politics getting "half-a-loaf" should be an occasion for joy. Heck, getting a crust of bread is better than nothing. Politics truly is the art of the possible. It's also the art of learning how to live with the imperfect, which is all we're usually going to get in this lifetime. Heaven is way over yonder, and earth is right here beneath our feet.

Stephen R. Maloney

On Monday, I'll reprint John Hawkins' pro-Thompson e-mail, as well as my response. I have major problems with Fred Thompson as a candidate for the GOP nomination.

To me, he's the "designated conservative," in much the same way as frauds like Duke Cunningham (in jail for bribery and extortion as a congressman), Bob Ney (accepted money for votes from Jack Abramoff), Mark Foley (you know about him), David Vitter (of D.C. Madam fame), and Larry Craig (of men's room notoriety). These people discovered that being "pretend conservatives" (often with reflexive gay-bashing and lots of sentimental nonsense about "traditional families") was the key to winning elections. Those conservative voters who prefer rhetoric over reality backed them without question.

Being a responsible activist and voter means being realistic about the world in which we live. It means understanding that the U.S. is not -- and will not be -- a theocracy. It means recognizing that tens of millions of voters have shifted from Republican to Independent and Democrat.

Being realistic involves understanding that there will never (at least in our lifetimes) be a constitutional amendment outlawing either abortion or gay marriage. There are not 50 votes in favor of such measures in the Senate, and a constitutional amendment requires 67 votes. Candidates who talk about such things as possibilities are pandering and, worse, lying to the public.

In the 2008 election, there will be 22 Republican-held Senate seats up for election, and only 12 Democratic seats. Some of those Republican seats (including the one in Virginia) -- perhaps many of them -- will be lost. The probability is that the Democrats will hold all 12 of theirs.

Changing demographics and the political naivete of some evangelicals will make it almost impossible to win the Presidency. James H. of Louisiana has mentioned that the Republican nominee will have a very hard time being competitive in Florida and Nevada. He could also have mentioned Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona, among others.

Ohio, traditionally a Republican bastion, is now a strong Blue state. A liberal Democrat, Strickland, soundly defeated social conservative Ken Blackwell in the 2006 race for the governorship. A very liberal Democrat -- much more so than Hillary Clinton -- named Sherrod Brown won an Ohio Senate seat in 2006.

I keep hearing people who say that people in their church (evangelical) or neighborhood (affluent) "can't stand Hillary," so she will be beatable in 2008. Right now, it appears we would magically need to double such churches and neighborhoods to beat her.

The Gallup Poll shows the most popular male politician in the country is William Jefferson Clinton. The most popular female -- politician or otherwise -- is Hillary Rodham Clinton, with the second most popular being Oprah Winfrey.

Mike Huckabee is a good man, but his bland "goodness" will not enable him to overcome the raw political power of the Clintons. Fred Thompson presumably is a good something, but his cornpone style, vague federalism, and reputation for being the laziest man in D.C. don't augur well for a campaign against Hillary.

I hear the refrain that goes "Run, Fred, run," and all I can think is, "Hide, Fred, hide." In this electoral season, we need not fantasy but rather a brutal honesty about the political situation.